To repair this masterpiece had pull together an assortment of tools and products: The correct surcomfrance of wire (the gentiles call this the “guage”); weather proof electrical tape; wire strippers (using scissors’ll take forever), a little pick axe to create a small trench to bury the wire; and a staple gun to secure the wire to the fence (it’s November in the northeast and I’m not diggin’ all the way around the house now – I am Jewish after all).

Got the stuff at the hardware store (yep, they still exist) and started the job. First thing was to make sure the fence was turned off so it didn’t have any current running through it (the gentiles call this “juice”), then connected the cut-off ends of the wire with the new wire (the gentiles call this “splicing”), wrapped the splices with the tape, carved the trench, buried the wire, and stapled other parts of the wire to the fence. Did this all while kneeling and laying on gardening pads to make it easy on the ol’ bod.

At one point my wife came out and saw me working. She said “I’m really impressed!” All right, I thought. I’m gonna score… if this doesn’t wipe me out.

Lo and behold I plugged the fence in and it worked! A true miracle! Now the dog’s got to be trained how to use it. Gonna have to find a gentile to teach him that.